Posting pictures of celebrities wearing bikinis serves several purposes. First and foremost, it gives you, the reader, a reason to touch yourself, you know, down there. Second, it's sheer laziness on our part–we don't have to be our usually sparkling selves, whizzing zingers from beyond cyberspace. But most importantly, Jessica Biel's butt serves the important purpose of a beer rest, pillow, or stepstool. And that, friends, marks the first time the words "butt" and "stool" have appeared together in a very sexy sentence.
A beach, a football, a brindley, tough dog, a kicky straw novelty hat. These four items generally add up to "d-bag post-frat chucklefuck at spring break", but throw a bikini and a perfectly spherical, gravity-destroying, globular, unsinkable set of chair cheeks into the mix and you've got Jessica Biel.
Click here, and you will be taken to a mystical place that has Biel in a bikini pictures too numerous to count. Thrill to Biel walking! Running! Frolicking! Building a sand castle! Throwing a football! Catching a football! Holding a football gently! Then print them all out, staple them together, and you've got yourself a flip book. Complete with bonus Kristin Cavallari in a two-piece action.
The real Biel, at MrSkin.com.
And Kristin Cavalleri, too.
