We havenít really been keeping up with the new baby Federline (official name still unknown, but being referred to by "journalists" as Sean Preston), but thatís just because weíve been caught up in more interesting things, like stuffing our face with Funyuns and yelling at Kevin to stop playing the f-ing Playstation and change the kidís diaper for once. Oh, wait, thatís what Britneyís been doing since the kidís birth. Weíve just been drunk on Booneís Farm.
Just like any good mom, Britney has allegedly been negotiating the price on her newbornís head. It looks like the American version of OK! will win the first pics of the littlest Federline (for a mere $15 mil), what with their ass-kissy-er than People ways and their habit of throwing oodles of cash at the already super rich. Rumor has it that Britneyís even been planting Britney-and-baby decoys to throw off the paparazzi in order to keep her babyís price at a premium.
And because we know itís very important to you to know whom baby Federline will live with when Britney dies in a tragic exploding Frappacino incident and Kevinís carted off for possession, we can now report that Britney has chosen a godmother. And, no, itís not Madonna, but rather Sex and the City star (and unfortunate one-time Britney co-star) Kim Cattrall. We do not think Kabbalah would approve. And now that we think about it, weíre not even sure if Kabbalaists are supposed to have godparents. Like the kid isnít going to be confused enough as it is.
And in our continuing coverage of Kevin Federline: Father of the Year, we bring you this choice quote: "My son is a gangsta, man! The first time I held him in my arms, he peed on me! I had to change my shirt!" Apparently Kevin Federline is the premier voice in what is ìgangstaî. Soon weíll see 50 Cent and Kanye West showing up at clubs and awards ceremonies and peeing on their enemies. After all, that is much more insulting than getting shot.
Britney's pre-baby body at MrSkin.com.
