Generally a woman who has birthed a baby in the past year sticks to certain conventions. Wearing loose clothing to conceal the still-lingering baby weight. Carrying an overstuffed diaper bag filled with baby wipes and little baggies of Cheerios. Drinking shitloads of caffeine to ward off crushing exhaustion. But not Ashlee Simpson. Nope, when she leaves little Bronx with a nanny she gets shit faced, gives Bronx's daddy "disgusting" lap dances, and spews vitriol at anyone unfortunate enough to have touched the Wentz willy. Charming. Such an encounter occurred when Pete and Ash ran into Pete's ex Michelle Trachtenberg on Monday night. Page Six quotes an insider:
The evening started off very civilly. Pete and Ashlee had a pleasant conversation with Michelle and her boyfriend for close to 20 minutes, and even showed [Trachtenberg] some baby pictures of [Ashlee's] little boy, Bronx.Things got out of control. An increasingly loud Simpson began to give Wentz a lap dance while staring directly at Michelle and hurling insults at her. She was grinding up on Pete like a stripper. It was actually pretty disgusting.
Things reached a climax when Simpson screamed at a confused Trachtenberg, "I hope you know, the whole time you were dating Pete, I was fucking him!"
God, what kind of a world do we live in? A drunken near catfight over Little Petey Wentz? WTF? Drunken catfights between bimbos should be reserved for someone like George Clooney, not the puny MySpace-haired bassist of some emo-rock band. That's like if we went up to someone about to throw out an apple core and started throwing a fit. "No! That's my apple core! It only loves me. It never really loved you. It let me lick on it the whole time you were eating it. It's all mine, mine, mine, you apple-eating whore!"
P.S. You best step off, Ashlee. Georgina would totally kick your ass.
