Today we bid a final farewell to one of the best names in celebritydom, Coley Laffoon. No, Mr. Laffoon has not died, but in the gossip world he may as well have, as he is no longer legally betrothed to crazy/famous lady Anne Heche. Their divorce has at long last been finalized, and he is now a commoner, leaving us with only Rupert Friend to giggle at. Our own personal divorce attorney, FemaleFirst, reports:
Anne Heche's divorce has been finalised.The actress and Coley Laffoon – who were married for five years – reached a financial settlement last June, but have taken another nine months to agree on custody of their son Homer, seven, and the splitting of their assets.
According to Los Angeles Superior Court documents Heche must pay Laffoon a $515,000 lump sum payment. He will also get half of their assets, including $700,000 worth of stocks.
They will equally share custody of their son and Heche has been ordered to pay Laffoon $3,500 a month in child support. In return, Laffoon has agreed not to claim spousal support.
Heche will also keep her mansion in Vancouver, Canada.
The 39-year-old actress – who is expecting her first child with actor James Tupper – filed for divorce in February 2007, citing irreconcilable differences.
She later claimed her husband was addicted to strip clubs and porn.
Laffoon fired back in court papers, saying her "credibility should also be called into question as a result of her mental instability, which was highly publicised in her 2001 autobiography entitled 'Call Me Crazy' ".
Wait, being able to communicate with God and having access to alien spaceships and your own secret language make you a bad parent? Because those all sound pretty awesome to us. Anne and little Homer Laffoon can have all the fun in the world, flying off to distant planets and meeting other species and communicating in a language that only they can understand. Fun! But then if little Homer Laffoon acts out Anne always has the threat of being able to directly tell God what he did. That's definitely more motivation to listen to what Mommy says than a stupid time out.
