We are suckers for words that sound funny. Gubernatorial makes us think of Goobers, which are delicious. Duty sounds like doody, which is stinky. And Anne Heche’s ex-husband, Coley Laffoon, sounds kind of like holey baboon, which makes us imagine a primate who’s been on the business side of a drive-by. But while Coley Laffoon’s name brings us great joy, the man himself stirs nothing but rancor in Anne. She appeared on the Late Show with David Letterman last night and just had glowing things to say about her former snatch servicer and marriage in general, including calling Coley a “lazy ass.” That’s better than calling him a smelly twat, we guess. And more appropriate for CBS.
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Which begs the question…why in Hell did she marry the guy in the first place? Was she trying to ween herself off of sweet lesbian love? Was she THAT drunk? (Come to think of it, was HE that drunk?) Is all this just another ploy at attention?
Oh, who cares. I’m just waiting for the official release of HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN. I couldn’t care what Ms. Heche does, unless it involves carjacking my ass.