Angelina's Son Named; Primed for Brutal Schoolyard Beatdown

The child pictured at left is the freshly-adopted Vietnamese son of Angelina Jolie. Cute, huh? Enjoy this untouched, innocent, natural version of Jolie #4 while you can, though, because he's mere days away from his Hollywood makeover. He'll soon be sporting painted nails, eyeliner, a Dead Kennedys shirt, and a striped mohawk weave in addition to a brand new, edgier moniker (after the cut). He'll be the Poochie of celebrity offspring!

US Weekly reports:

Angelina Jolie has successfully completed the adoption process for her new son. The three-year-old boy (mistakingly identifed as 4 by officials who observe the Chinese New Year) was picked up at 9 a.m. local time after Jolie received the official adoption agreement from the Tam Binh orphanage where the boy has been residing since November of 2003.

Vietnamese press also report that Jolie’s new son cried and hid during the official ceremony, and that the actress comforted him. Jolie’s other adopted son, Maddox, was also present.

Jolie and her two children finished the ceremony by 10 a.m. local time and then returned to their hotel.

The Oscar-winning actress must now meet with U.S. consular officials who must review the adoption before a passport can be issued for the boy.

If all goes according to plan, the 31-year-old actress could bring the child home by the weekend, local officials told the Associated Press on Wednesday.

Cried and hid. That's rough. It must be pretty terrifying to have to leave the only world you've ever known to travel to a foreign land where you don't know the language or culture and call a bunch of strangers "Mom" and "Dad". But we'll see who's crying once he gets a load of the toy room at the Jolie-Pitt estate, which we'd assume has its own petting zoo, dunking booth and Chuck E. Cheesian pit full of plastic balls.

And no new Jolie-Pitt is complete until he or she has a name that expresses Angelina's now-suppressed natural leaning towards the weird. Joining Maddox, Zahara, and Shiloh is . . . PAX!

Vietnamese press claim that that the boy is named Pham Quang Sang and will be renamed Pax Thien Jolie. Pax means "peace" in Latin and Thien is "sky" in Vietnamese.

A few weeks ago, we had the extreme misfortune of being forced to make two Patch Adams jokes in the same week. And now, we are very sorry to say, we have to make our second K-Pax reference in six days. But we have to, surely you understand.