Just Wait Until She Buys Them Mini Vials of Blood

Angelina Jolie may have adopted a new, Virgin Maryesque persona as of late, but the smack-shooting, switch-hitting, "we just fucked in the car", loose cannon who's into knifeplay still lurks deep within her heart, especially when it comes to holiday gifts for children. Reports Star magazine, via Celebitchy:

[Brad’s sister] Julie was shocked when Angie sent her children the commando-style video game Ghost Squad. According to a family insider, Julie and her husband Rob sent it back with a note that read, “We don’t promote violence in our home.”

Julie and Rob “shun these kinds of violent games for kids,” says the insider. So when they got the present, it was just too much. It went right back in the box.”

Angelina was not pleased. “She was really angry,” the insider reveals. “She thinks it’s normal and part of being a kid. She even bought Maddox a knife-throwing set and is encouraging him to learn to throw knives!”

Throwing sharp things is definitely a building block of childhood. True. In our baby books, nestled right between notations in our mother's handwriting on the amount of formula we ate every day, and a lock of flaxen hair from our first haircut, is the classic "Baby's First Scimitar" entry. So cute! What a day that was! The eyes shiny with wonder as the torn flesh of one eyelid flopped down. The blood pooling in those darling dimples in our cheeks. Sure, it was a little hard at first, and the handle kept slipping, but with Mother's encouragement, we bandaged up those feet, put those lopped toes in a glass of milk, and got right back in the saddle again. Awwww!