Brangelina Birthin' Babies?

Today might be the day that two new Jolie-Pitts entered the world. Or maybe it isn't. Whether or not the rumors are true, it's all just a bunch of French people talking, and we still don't trust the French, because they hate freedom and democracy and apple pie and Burger King and beer guts. So we'll wait until we get an official announcement from good old Amuricuns like People magazine. But until then, The Huffington Post scoops the poop:

A French magazine reported on its website Wednesday morning that Angelina Jolie has given birth to her twins. She and Brad Pitt have been holed up in the South of France since May, having recently moved into Chateau Miraval with their four kids.

According to Closer:

En exclusivite mondiale, Closer est en mesure de vous annoncer qu'Angelina Jolie aurait accouché ce matin dans un hôpital français ! La star serait rentrée hier soir en salle de travail. Toute reproduction interdite sans la mention du site closermag.fr

Translation: Angelina went into labor Tuesday night and gave birth this (Wednesday) morning in a French hospital.

Angelina has "reportedly" given birth before, with "Entertainment Tonight" claiming she did a month ago and refusing to back down. But, Brad Pitt has traveled a lot since, doubtful if he had two preemie twins at home, and In Touch has pictures of a still-pregnant Jolie last week.

We're inclined to believe that this is total bullshit. Because the world waiting for the birth of the sexiest twin girls in history is kind of like a sixteen-year-old boy being in the presence of a naked girl for the first time. He's so damn excited that he's finally going to get his bone wet in something other than his mom's jar of cold cream (and, no, that's not a euphemism) that he gets to the main event about forty minutes too soon. So stuff it back in your collective pants, you Brangelina lovers, and think about baseball or Bugs Bunny or something. Unless of course you're turned on by baseball and/or Bugs Bunny (he was pretty damn sexy when he put on a dress, we'll admit), in which case you'll have to resort to the whole grandma on the toilet strategy of deflating your dong. And if you're turned on by that, you've got Amy Winehouse-level problems.

UPDATE: According to Us Weekly Angie's still incubating the tots but has indeed entered a French hospital. Two wee ones will be living out countless men's sicko fantasies any moment now.


Spy thing 1 and thing 2's first meal at MrSkin.com.