You know what, Jenny Shimizu? Shut the hell up. We know you once tasted the juicy and delicious rubyfruit of Angelina Jolie, but get over it already. We care about that almost as little as we care about Isaiah Washington or those smarmy and perfectly coiffed kids from High School Musical. Even so, we're sure you, our readers, still want to hear what this visitor to the Mecca that is Angie's poon has to say. She told very reputable source News of the World:
She loves danger and dabbling in the dark side. Angelina is an unbelievable lesbian lover. That's where she gets her kicks — not playing happy family with one man. She loves women too much. It's like a drug and she was hooked.
You just don't get it, do you, Jenny? Brad Pitt is all the pussy Angelina could ever need.
In related news, the Jolie-Pitt brood is currently, at this very moment, somewhere in Chicago, within ten miles of CelebNewsWire! Our tracking efforts so far have been fruitless, as the rainbow that perpetually hovers just above their heads is quite difficult to follow, and while angelic little Shiloh does give off an especially strong waft of lilacs and baby powder and pure Tahitian vanilla, our nose was thrown off her trail when we neared the Blommer chocolate factory and the streets filled with the scent of brownies. But we will not give up. We will do our best to channel Miss Marple until we finally spot the savior infant in person. If you tune in to Entertainment Tonight this evening and hear about "that crazy person who ran up and pinched Shiloh's cheeks and then disappeared," you will know that our mission has been completed.
One Comment
jenny's right on. tic toc for this "relationship"