Angelina Jolie Is Fat and Sad

Stars are just like us. They go to the grocery store! They cut their toenails! They wear socks! They suffer from delusions and post partum depression after having a C-section to take out the twins that were cooked in a laboratory with Brad Pitt's semen and implanted into our guts to accompany the rainbow spectrum of kids collected from around the world! Post-pregnancy mental issues are no laughing matter, but hey, we gotta feel superior to Angelina Jolie in some small way, so ha ha you jerk. According to the new issue of Star, Ang thinks she's fat and flubbery after giving birth to twins Knox and Vivienne, and Brad has "forced" her into therapy to work on her mood swings and body image issues.

After months of stress and turmoil, a weary, frustrated Brad Pitt has put his foot down and has forced Angelina Jolie to get professional help.

In the Oct. 13 issue of Star we report that almost three months after the birth of her twins, Angie is still in a deep funk — and Brad is so determined to get her back to her old self that he put her in therapy to get her to eat, get out of the house and put an end to her intense mood swings.

"Angelina didn't want to accept the fact that she was struggling after the twins were born and was really resistant to Brad's pleas for her to get help," an insider tells Star. "But she finally agreed."

While still in France at Château Miraval, Angie started seeing the doctor — who Brad found in Paris — for daily power sessions, says another source. Now that they've moved to Berlin she's continued their sessions via phone and webcam.

So what kinds of things is Angie working out? For one, the mother of six has been unhappy with her body since the July 12 birth of Knox and Vivienne, sources say, and has hardly been eating. "She still thinks she's fat," says a source. "She barely touches the food that is brought to her. After a few bites she'll say, 'Take it away; I'm not hungry.' Brad is trying to get her to eat more, but she has no appetite.

We can only assume that it was the good doctor's idea to continue therapy via webcam. "Oh no no, Meez Jolie! Ze telephone would seemply not work. Eet must be webcam, no? Eet ees . . . eet ees ze best thing for your recovery. So I can see your progress, oui? And ze best way to measure zat would be you wearing a brassiere. And a G-string made from pearls. And lots of body oil. And eating a banana. And would eet keel you to lick your lips more?"



Cheer up, Angie. You look great nude at MrSkin.com.