And the Papa Is . . . Macaulay Culkin!

Good morning. It’s August 31, 2009, and Michael Jackson is still dead. We may not be much closer to seeing his needle-happy doc brought to justice, but we are closer to finding out who Blanket’s father is. Well, at least as long as you’re really gullible and believe everything you’ve ever seen on Access Hollywood. It’s Macaulay Culkin! Says The Sun:

The Home Alone film star is said to have donated sperm to help Jacko create his seven-year-old offspring – real name Prince Michael II – with an unknown surrogate mum.

One source said: “It is well known Jackson and Macaulay shared a unique bond. Now rumours are spreading like wildfire that Macaulay, who Jackson nicknamed Mack, is actually Blanket’s biological dad.”

The source added: “This isn’t just chitter-chatter, even Culkin suspects he’s Blanket’s father. So many names have been mentioned as prospective dads, and this is probably the wackiest yet. But Jackson and Culkin were best friends. He was one of the few people Jackson really trusted and Mack never let him down.

“Really, Jackson idolised him – that’s why he asked Mack to donate sperm.Deep down, I think he always wished Mack was his son. Creating Blanket was the next best thing.”

Culkin – godfather to Jacko’s other two children – has told pals he will not comment in public out of loyalty to his late pal.

You think that’s weird? Wait till you hear who the mother is. It’s Bubbles! Or maybe Liz Taylor. Yeah, probably Liz Taylor. It would explain Blanket’s keen ability to spot an exceptional ruby at fifty paces.