Punch Drunk Pubes

What do you get when you cross Ronnie Spector, a nineteenth century English bootblack, an east L.A. chola, a half-empty bottle of peach brandy, and Flo from the 1980s sitcom Alice? Amy Winehouse, of course. Our favorite shy violet lets loose today with a cavalcade of entertainment so extensive that we're forced to use bullets to organize everything!

• The night before last, the beloved songstress hit the town sporting a new look. Fear not--the giant hair bubble and panda eyeliner was still firmly in place--the look we speak of was south of the border. Although she was wearing her trademark gold belt, her shorts slipped down to show some coin slot and a hearty swath of pubes. It's our hope that she's taking "the carpet matches the curtains" to the extreme and will get a merkinhive. Dive into Wino's drawers and check out the pics at DrunkenStepfather.

• And she's addicted to a new substance! You might have heard of it. It's called Hawaiian Tropic. The Sun reports that Amy can't get enough of the tanning bed she's had installed in her home:

Rehab singer Amy, 24, even dozes off under the ultraviolet lamps, which release the same type of harmful radiation found in sunlight.

One friend said: “Amy can’t do anything by halves. Recently she has been going for it on the sunbed, but she won’t be told. She bought it to get rid of scabs that started appearing on her skin.”

Nothing covers up scabs quite as good as melanoma! Yes, friends, when it comes to masking impetigo and cocaine pickings, Cover Girl concealer can't hold a candle to Mohs surgery!

• And finally, last night Amy and her entourage escaped the clutches of Mitch Winehouse and headed to the Dublin Castle Pub, where Amy proceeded to get well into her cups, call a random man a "wanker", and cold cock him in the face. The punchee, Wayne Lindsay, says:

"She was in front of me at the bar and suddenly turned and smacked me three times across the face. It really stung. I couldn't believe it. I hadn't said a word to her or touched her . . . She was wild. She just flipped. It was as if she had voices in her head."

Considering the height of her beehive lately, we'd say it's likely she literally had voices in her head. Voices of a family of rats that have taken residence inside her hairdo. Like Ratatouille! Only with crack instead of herbs de Provence.

Aphrodite reincarnated:





We love the Wino, and so do you: plus, she's at MrSkin.com.