Kids these days, they have the strangest role models. In our day every young thing wanted to be just like Miss Piggy (she got to eat a lot of ice cream and yell a lot, which every pre-teen girl envies) or maybe Debbie Gibson (Those hats! They were fabulous! That is, until Blossom ruined the whole trend). Good, wholesome role models that a parent could approve of. But now you've got girls wanting to be just like Paris Hilton or Britney Spears, because things like jail and mental illness are so damn glamorous. And poor little Ali Lohan. She can't look up to her mom, because Dina's probably busy with her waxer or her dealer or trying to sell Lindsay's naked baby photos to Playboy or something. So she has to look up to her 21-year-old thrice rehabbed sister. People reports:
For most of her life, Ali Lohan has looked up to her older sister Lindsay Lohan because of her career, the fans, the fame. Now Ali wants all of those things for her herself.ìI grew up watching Lindsay," Ali tells Teen Vogue in its April issue. "It made me want to do what she does. Just the whole vibe. Being there, being on camera, or onstage, with everybody listening to you … it's so cool when people look up to you. I've already been asked for my autograph and it's just a really good feeling to have."
The 14-year-old has her sights set on Hollywood, paving her way toward a singing and acting career and may even try her hand at fashion designing, saying she wants to accomplish these things "really bad, so bad. So bad you don't even know."
Ali will soon get some face time on the small screen. The younger Lohan has been filming a new reality series for E!, which documents her fledgling acting career (the magazine reports she may audition for High School Musical 3) and upcoming album. The show will also feature her mother, Dina, and 11-year-old brother, Dakota.
"It's not all that fake stuff," says Ali. "It's just what we do in our everyday life."
If Ali really wants to follow in Lindsay's footsteps, she better start fast, as today's world doesn't wait for things like mental maturity and legal age. We suggest she start a feud with Vanessa Hudgens over Zac Efron post haste. Then she should start dating a creepy TV actor (maybe that scarf-wearing douche from Gossip Girl) a la Wilmer Valderwhatsisname. If she really gets her shit together and focuses on the task at hand she could be flashing her probably-non-firecrotch by September and celebrating Christmas at Cirque Lodge. (And, yes, we realize that we just hit upon a level of creepy that hasn't been touched since the whole Dakota-Fanning-rape-scene thing, but we're just hypothesizing on Ali's likely trajectory here, not making a wish list.)
One Comment
To the person who wrote this article…leave Ali alone. If she wants to be an actress like her sister, let her. And, stop saying mean stuff about her or her role models. No wonder celebrities go crazy! It's because of people like you! And, believe me, there are many of them out there.