"You're a Rude, Thoughtless Little Pig"

By now, your email-forward-happy coworker has surely sent you the link to this voice mail message featuring Alec Baldwin giving his eleven-year-old daughter, Ireland, a solid tongue-lashing. You've no doubt furrowed your brow listening to Mr. Baldwin call his only child a "rude, thoughtless pig," shouting "you have insulted me for the last time!" as if he were addressing a gentleman in a top hat who had just referred to him as a "witless cur," insulting her mother and threatening to get on a plane to "straighten [her] ass out." And you've certainly made the connection that the message was most likely leaked by the child's mother, Kim Basinger. And then you most definitely started to think about how the kid has been the center of one of Hollywood's ugliest custody battles and, being eleven, now likely realizes that she's her parents' favorite tool when it comes to pushing each other's buttons. And right about now, you're thinking "man, this sucks," and "Ireland Baldwin's tell-all is going to go down so nicely at the beach with a margarita" and "Kim Basinger is pretty."

Kim might not be a great parent, but she's got a great pair. At MrSkin.com.