Alba and Hewitt Make for a Barren Nude Year

Pretty lady/PA semen receptacle Jessica Alba is not letting a little thing like pregnancy get in the way of her main occupation. Which is not acting, it's whining about how she hates being sexy and will never show you so much as an unadorned elbow so STFU. According to SF Gate:

[Alba has] reportedly turned down three offers to show off her baby bump in revealing magazine photoshoots.

The 26-year-old has already ruled out the chance to follow the likes of Demi Moore and Christina Aguilera and bare all for glossy covers.

A friend says, "She had three offers on the first day, but she doesn't intend to take any of them."

Yeah, we know. Alba won't be happy until we call her a stupid ugly warty misshapen goblin that smells real bad. And when we do, she'll do a little pirouette and look in the mirror and say, "They hate me! I'm gross! Yaaaaayyyyy!"

And no nudes is also good nudes for Jennifer Love Hewitt, whose Hugetits will not be bandied about in Playboy anytime soon, despite their generous offer. Says SF Gate:

The actress' publicist tells the upcoming issue of In Touch Weekly magazine the "Ghost Whisperer" star was "flattered" by the offer, but turned it down. A friend of the 28-year-old says, "She's pretty conservative, but is very proud of her body."

Well, of course JLH wouldn't stoop to such low pap as flaunting her flesh in the pages of Playboy magazine. Like Alba, she is too busy being a serious actress. Plus those residuals from Garfield: A Tail of Two Kitties and The Tuxedo are keeping her in forehead polish and cross-your-heart bras just fine.



Oh boy, Alba, at MrSkin.com.

JLH gives a little nipple, whoo hoo.