We never thought we'd see Paris Hilton as the spokesmodel for abstinence. Spokesmodel for adult-onset retardation and vulval chancres, sure. But not abstinence.
The Christian right may have found an unlikely ally in the form of 5'8" of pure bronzer and Valtrex. Not only is Paris Hilton giving up sexual relations for one year, she's urging girls across the land to clamp a combination lock on their glitter "Princess" thongs and not give up the cookies. Our gossip alpha dog, FemaleFirst, tells us that although Paris is known for her dongsmokin', pigtailin', night-vision sex tape, 1 Night in Paris, she (read: her handlers) is trying to reinvent herself as a respectable lady and a positive role model for young girls. Says Paris:
"It's sexier when a girl is flirty but she doesn't do anything. I think women should be confident and strong, and they often underestimate themselves and give in to men. Girls need to calm down and realise that sex isn't everything. It's frightening. Women are getting as bad as boys now for sleeping around."
Obviously we're not going to pooh-pooh Paris for trying to right the wrong she started when she inspired six-year-olds to wear crotch-grazing miniskirts with baby tees that say "Your boyfriend was good last night." However, forgive us if we can't exactly take this latest venture seriously. After all, we're talking about a gal who will cheerfully give the thumbs up to any product that bears her name, whether it be perfume, clothing, makeup, or a book called Your Heiress Diary: Confess It All to Me (uh, why did Paris need a cowriter for a diary? Was she like, "Shit, I need some help here. What comes after 'April twoth?'"). We'd be willing to bet dollars to doughnuts that her flack just told her "Abstinence" is a new edible body spray she has to promote.
Paris is naked at MrSkin.com. Don't abstain.
