filed under: Anna Faris

• Vanessa Minnillo fellates a PInkberry spoon. (F-listed)

• Can't lose that last stubborn five pounds? Get gastric band surgery! Courtney Love did. (Yeeeah!)

• Pics from Britney Spears's new video for "Womanizer". Lots o' wigs, and not a batty pink one amongst them. (Pop on the Pop)

• Madonna bans Sarah Palin from attending her shows. Because Sarah Palin is a really huge fan of Breathless Mahoney and the video for "Justify My Love". (Daily Stab)

• Miley Cyrus makes out with Minnie Mouse. Because that's just how she rolls, man. (Drunken Stepfather)

• David Duchovny and his heat-seeking wang released back onto an unsuspecting pubic. Public. (IDLYITW)

• Lauren Bacall calls Tom Cruise "vulgar", "sick", "ridiculous", and "a maniac". You forgot "short", Betty. (Exposay)

• Nick Nolte's house burned down, and NO, it wasn't because he dropped a doob onto the bed, jerk. (PopCrunch)

• Pete Doherty wants to perform in a rat-filled coffin. When asked for comment, rats said, "Ew, disgusting." (NME)

• A party at the Playboy Mansion inspires Anna Faris to greater heights of promiscuity. (Mr. Skin)

• Forgetting Sarah Marshall. But not forgetting the nipple patches. Damn you, Kristen Bell. (Don't Link This)

In case you missed last night's airing of the MTV Movie Awards, fear not! MTV will rerun them probably three times a day until next June. You can see famous lady attendees in their finery here, you can peruse the list of winners here, but the big news is that we went all Perez and actually had a CelebNewsWire correspondent backstage at the awards as well as at the afterparty. So without further ado, please enjoy the following EXCLUSIVE!!!!! SECRET!!! SCOOP!!!!!! on the backstage goings-on.

According to our spy:

7. Most sought-after celeb backstage: Christian Siriano from Project Runway.
6. Second most sought-after celeb backstage: Rainn Wilson. "Ladies love him," says Deep Throat. He is also extremely nice and personable, having time for everyone. He was worried about how his teddy-bear-tied-to-dong skit would come off, though he needn't have fretted.
5. Also top dog in the personality category: Anna Faris. Who, apparently, enjoys a cigarette or two but will only bum puffs off others instead of smoking her own.
4. Vern Troyer was riding on people's shoulders.
3. Tila Tequila is actually rather attractive in real life (we're having a hard time believing this one).
2. Lindsay Lohan was there with an entire entourage . . . of homosexuals. Of the boy homo and girl homo varieties. She would ONLY hang out with the gays and the lezzies, no mere mortal breeders were allowed to enter the orbit of the Lohan. No Samantha Ronson, however.
1. Paris Hilton was backstage . . . in a display case. No. Really. It was a cordoned-off area where she sat perched on a couch behind curtains and ropes, surrounded by colossal African-American bodyguards, who shielded her from view when she smoked cigarettes. Later, she and Benji Madden were escorted away and Christian Siriano replaced her in the sideshow freak display.

We hear that next year, everyone is expecting to up the ante by having Lindsay Lohan scissor Tila Tequila on top of Vern Troyer's shoulders while smoking. Which, coincidentally, is the basis for the new reality hit planned for VH-1's fall line up. It's called The Lindsay Lohan Scissoring Tila Tequila on Top of Vern Troyer's Shoulders While Smoking Comedy Hour. No idea how they came up with that title.

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Way back in March of 2005 we told you that Courtney Love was set to play Deep Throat sword swallower Linda Lovelace in a biopic. But that was before the rehab and the more rehab and the court-ordered rehab and the Pam Anderson roasting and the Steve Coogan fake impregnation and the many, many surgeries to attempt to regain the face she had before the other many, many surgeries. So she's been kind of busy. And what with all her new dead-husband money, she probably doesn't need to fake suck dick on screen. So she's leaving it to Scary Movie star Anna Faris. According to Mtv.com:

With films like "Just Friends" and the "Scary Movie" franchise, Anna Faris has given us so many deep belly laughs that it's hard to not develop an equally deep appreciation for her comedic talents. But as she revealed to us on Tuesday, her next film will not only be Faris' most difficult role yet, but will also offer the actress one more chance to get deep.

"There's a project about Linda Lovelace, the porn star, that we're really hoping to put together soon," Faris said of a dramatic biopic that will cast her as the infamous "Deep Throat" actress who dragged the X-rated movie into mainstream culture. "It's a really deep, dark drama — and it would be cool for me to do."

The affable 30-year-old beauty hopes to get cameras rolling on the film with enough time to finish it before the impending writers' strike in June, she and has targeted the subject of the 2005 documentary hit "Inside Deep Throat" for her most dramatic role yet. For those who aren't versed in filthy '70s cinema, Lovelace was the stage name Linda Susan Boreman adopted before starring in "Throat," the 1972 flick about a frustrated woman exploring (and exploring, and exploring again) her sexuality.

"It's called 'Inferno,' " Faris said of the film, which she is currently putting together alongside a first-time filmmaker. She said other stars haven't been cast yet but that director Matthew Wilder will helm the flick.

"This would be incredibly intense," Faris said of the script about Lovelace, who died in 2002 following a car accident and several weeks on life support. "It would be the most difficult thing I've done, and I'm really nervous."

"It's a pretty tragic story," Faris admitted with earnest. "It's going to be a challenge, definitely."

Great. A "deep, dark drama" that's "incredibly intense." You know what that means, right? It will probably focus on Linda's anti-porn later life, and the scenes of her actually deep throating dong will feature Anna dressed in a prim, high-collared, lace dress. And a burka. Oh, and to bring you down even farther, Anna already set the body-double precedent in Scary Movie. Yeah. This movie's gonna rock.

• Bridget Moynahan gave birth to a giant football yesterday. (Celebitchy)

• Anna Faris makes with the cheek-smugglers. (Drunken Stepfather)

• Jessica Biel is happy to share her chest chasm with you in FHM. (Egotastic!)

• Attractive drip Adrian Grenier throws genital caution to the wind and hangs out with Paris Hilton. (The Blemish)

• Christina Aguilera's baby will not go hungry. (Hollywood Tuna)

• Sweden makes the call: Bill Murray is one beer over par! (IDLYITW)

• Mariah Carey obscures breasts with lace grandma curtain; cirrus clouds. (Cityrag)

• Lindy Loho thinks that rehab is serious business. You can tell by her no-nonsense hair bun and utilitarian mom-chic hoodie. (Yeeeah!)

• The main peril of being a housecat is accidentally drinking antifreeze. Unless you're Pete Doherty's cat, then the biggest problem is a couple of bumps of coke sprinkled atop your Meow Mix. (A Socialite's Life)

• Hilary Duff: womanly folds or crotch seam? (Taxi Driver)

• Hayden Panettiere: now old enough for lactose bukkake! (Celeb Warship)

• Jennifer Love Hewitt cries when she watches herself act. That's so funny, because we also wail uncontrollably when we have to watch her act. (Daily Stab)

• Kurt Russell sports flaccid ding dongage and a solid B-cup. (Allie Is Wired)