filed under: Adam Brody

We've long wondered why America's Next Sexiest Sexy Lady Megan Fox was engaged to Brian Austin Green. Turns out that Megan has long wondered that, too, and on the set of her new movie, she's been acting suspiciously BAGless. According to Star:

An insider on the set of Megan's movie Jennifer's Body says that the 22-year-old didn't act like she was taken. "I've never seen her wearing an engagement ring. I actually thought she and Adam Brody, who's also in the movie, were dating. They were very flirty with each other and were always hanging out together when they weren't working." But her good pal, actress Jennifer Blanc, tells Star that despite her leaving the rock at home, Megan is indeed still engaged. "She does wear it sometimes," insists Jennifer. "I've never asked her why she doesn't always put it on."

Brian Austin Green aka David Silver. Adam Brody aka Seth Cohen. Sounds like old Megan has a type: resident dork on FOX show. Well hell, Meg, if we had known that we would have shown up to your house in costume as that wheelchair kid from Malcolm in the Middle ages ago. more »

Have you been boning the same boring person for eight years because you know that if you dumped said boring person there would just be another boring person--who would probably be less attractive or fatter or more annoying--to take their place? You should totally become a celebrity! Then you could change partners every six months and each one would be prettier and more successful than the last. Now you'll just have to work on getting talent and looks and charm. That should be easy. more »

• Diana Ross would like to give singing lessons to Mariah Carey and Christina Aguilera. We can only imagine how that would go. "No, honey, more nasal! I said MORE nasal! That's too classically perfect and on-pitch, girl; could you maybe get a slightly whinier tone there?"

• James Brown died last week, and his wife, Rae Hynie, was immediately locked out of their home, as she's apparently not his "legal" wife. Funny story, but you know what's funnier? The name "Hynie". What's funnier than that? "Hynie-Brown".

• Kim Kardashian might have a sex tape. With Brandy's brother. Who calls himself "Ray-J Jawn". Talentless rich girl engaged in coitus on video with no-name dude attached to penis? Sounds like a recipe for superstardom!

• You will look at these pictures of Jessica Biel forming the camel toe in a bikini, and you will want to have sexual intercourse with her, but she would pick you up and smash you against her forehead and toss you, crumpled flat, in a pile.

• Paris Hilton calls Britney "Animal". Not because of her penchant for partying, but because of her red fur, proficiency at drumming, and tendency to shout "WO-MAN!"

• Pamela Anderson dresses up as Santa for the holidays. If Santa were a woman with staggeringly overstuffed fake breasts and flashed, panty-clad crotch. Which, we hear, is how he's usually depicted in traditional Norwegian folklore.

• Adam Brody muses on Bilson, Barton; gets munchies.

• Kylie Minogue. She sure does like to fuck.

• Mr. Skin raps to the Sun-Times about Salma Hayek's cans and Ali Larter's thong.

• Goddammit, Tara, you told us that you fixed that crap!

• Eva Longoria says that fame is like a hurricane. And that she'd like to maybe experience it someday, God willing. Hee hee hee hee hee.

• Christina Aguilera bought a shit ton of baby junk for Puffy Diddo's newly-minted twin girls. Hopefully included amongst the gifts were a couple of new names.

• Heather Graham's swan song of succulent sexiness. Take a look, then tip out your King Cobra on the curb.

• Lara Flynn Boyle decorated her razory clavicles with flowers, tied some white ribbons around her prominent ulnae, rubbed some pink gloss on her colossal plastic lips, and got herself married. Mazel tov!

• Nicolette Sheridan donned sheer hose with no visible pants (aka "pulling an Olsen"). Pauly Shore took a long, hard look. And pop went the Weasel. Groan, sorry.

• Sienna Miller offers a hot new diet plan to impressionable teenage girls: just drink vodka! Oh, don't look at us like that. It's a much more heathful alternative than the Lohan "strawberry booger sugar diet" or the Nicole Richie "oxygen and carbon dioxide" diet.

• Or maybe Lohan's on the "energy drink and pretzel diet", how the fuck should we know?

• Your office holiday party hookup was indiscreet and regrettable, but at least no photographic evidence exists. Christian Slater and Sharon Stone's holiday jaunt isn't faring quite so well.

• The beautiful, talented, and intelligent Victoria Silvstedt really really hates shirts.

• We're glad Mollygood agrees with us: Adam Brody's Ian McCulloch hair is kinda hot.

• Miss USA Tara Connor was nearly stripped of her crown after pageant owner Donald Trump got wind of the fact that she was drinking underage, failed a drug test for cocaine, and was making out with Miss Teen USA in public. When asked why he allowed her to retain her title, Trump said, "Are you fucking kidding me?"

• Lohan castoff Harry Morton is now feasting on the pink taco attached to Kimberly Stewart.

• K-Hole es no preggo.

• Martha Stewart briefly dated Anthony Hopkins, but could not bring herself to cook him fava beans with a nice Chianti.

The celebrity gossip game is an ugly business. The road to blogdom is paved with cobblestones fashioned from Posh Spice's canned tan spackle, Tara Reid's botched lipo, and Helena Bonham Carter's fashion sense. It is with a heavy heart and trembling fingers, then, that we must type to you that the one truly good and pure and true thing in that crazy mixed up town we call Hollywood is over. Rachel Bilson and Adam Brody have broken up. A source snitched to Life & Style:

"They've been done for a few weeks. They are just done. That’s all there is to it. There’s no drama. They just ended it."

Great. It's only a matter of time before Mischa Barton hooks Rachel up with one of Cisco Adler's pallid, oily Whitestarr bandmates and Adam falls prey to the sharp beak and droopy tail feathers of Paris Hilton and her squawking posse. Pour a bit of your King Cobra out on the curb today, gentle reader, for Cuteness has died. more »

Can someone please, for the love of all that is godly and true in today's material world, tell us what it is that makes Zach Braff so irresistable to nubile young starlets? If all it takes to nab shorties is having a homely, rubbery face replete with tiny mole eyes and a potato nose, and an unfunny sitcom, then why isn't Jon Cryer up to his neck in Olsen va-jay-jay? more »