filed under: 50 Cent

That 50 Cent is a smart man. He's somehow found a way to be a "hard" "gangsta" and still have white, suburban, middle-aged moms say, "Oh, I love that Fiddy, he's so charming." He made enough cash off of a beverage deal to keep his great-great-great-great grandkids in floor-length chinchilla coats and doorags. And he has a disdain for Paris Hilton, like all sensible humans should. The San Francisco Chronicle reports:

Rap superstar 50 Cent kicked Paris Hilton offstage and reduced her to tears during a pre-Super Bowl concert on Thursday.

Hilton hosted the bash for 944 magazine in Scottsdale, Ariz., and was stunned when the headliner turned on her.

The two star attractions have been romantically linked in the past, but there was no love lost when Hilton tried to steal the show.

After 50 Cent name checked her during his performance, Hilton climbed onstage to dance, but was promptly told to "Get the [bleep] off the stage" by the angry star.

Onlookers tell Page Six the outburst prompted Hilton to break down in tears, which was captured on film by photographers at the event.

We see that picture up there of Paris crying, but we still don't buy this. It would mean that Paris could not only detect when someone was being shitty to her, but also that she has feelings. And we'd always assumed that someone could spit in her face and call her a goat-fucking whore and she'd still think they wanted her autograph. At least that's what happened when WE spit in Paris's face and called her a goat-fucking whore. We still have the autographed 8x10 hanging next to our desk: "Deer CelbNewWyre, You're hot! XOXO Paris".

Find more pics of Paris trying to steal Fiddy's thunder at The Superficial.

Not content with becoming the rap world's V.C. Andrews, 50 Cent is producing his own line of condoms. He said:

“The kids become immune when you constantly beat them over the head. We have to be a little more creative about it. It’s the same with safe sex. As opposed to being part of a safe-sex campaign, I’m going to make condoms and donate a part of the proceeds to HIV awareness.”

We're guessing they'll be well stocked at corner bodegas, where the following exchange will probably be heard every day: "50 cent for a damn condom? Aw, hell naw. Saran Wrap's cheaper than that shit, dawg."

• Pink promises that for one day only, her wedding day, she will "be a girl". But after the ceremony is over, the dress and all its frilly, lacy trappings will come off, the foot-long silicone strap-on will come out, and Pink will bend her new husband over their marriage bed and show that little bitch who wears the pants.

• Heidi Klum probes her husband.

• Which one's cuter?: Mischa Barton with a kitty! Awww! Awwww! Awwwwwwwwww!

• 50 Cent will let his little boy mock murder people and watch porno, but cussing's where he draws the line.

• Lindsay Lo-ho and Keanu Reeves might be heading for a shack-up. One can only imagine the stimulating conversations these two have.

• Nip slip? Bah. Lip slip? Soooo two days ago. Rhona Mitra goes next level with an implant scar slip. Jealous, bitches?

• Sorry, boys! Elton John is officially off the market!

• The terrorists will never win when we have freedom on our side! Freedom, and Alyssa Milano's breast.

So you think you're hot shit in a champagne glass because your dad got the kids from the local high school who had a Foreigner cover band play your bar mitzvah? Well, one Elizabeth Brooks from Long Island has totally faced your ass because her defense contractor daddy, David H. Brooks, shelled out several million to secure some serious talent for his daughter's womanly celebration. We're talking 50 Cent, we're talking Tom Petty, we're talking Ciara, Don Henley, Stevie Nicks, Kenny G, Joe Walsh, and DJ AM. Because, you know, if there's anything in the world 13-year-old girls love, it's Kenny G and Don Henley. more »