Tom Cruise's transformation into John Revolta is just about complete. Unflagging, career-threatening devotion to Xenu? Check. A hot actress wife with early career nudity? Check. A solid layer of insulating yet female-fan-repelling fat? Check. Keeping those icky ladies away may be a plus, but popping buttons and bursting seams during your wedding ceremony is most definitely a minus.

Britain's Daily Mail reports:

The clothes were delivered yesterday to the couple's £2,500-night-penthouse suite at the Hassler Hotel on the Spanish Steps in Rome.

But within hours Italian news website TGcom quoted insiders saying the actor, 44, was "having trouble getting into his suit as he was slightly overweight".

Grazia magazine quotes another source:

Tom couldn't believe it when he discovered the tux was too tight. He chose his outfit ages ago, even before Katie picked out her dress.

He wasn't expecting to change size, but he has put on a couple of inches around the middle since the final fitting. He even measured the trousers to see if they had been made smaller - but they hadn't.

We've been having hearty guffaws and a steady stream of chortles since we first read this story, mostly because we've been thinking of poor Katie Holmes trying to stick to the Victoria Beckham diet of edamame, pretzels, and Diet Coke while Tom binged on sticks of butter slathered in peanut butter and then followed it up with half a dozen croissants. But weak and starving Katie had the last laugh when she cooked up a revenge plan with Armani. Armani would scale down Tom's pants until they were Nicole Richie sized and Katie would supply a novelty tape measure so that Tom's measurements would always show a true thirty-nine-inch waist. Maybe then he'd stop pinching Katie's stomach and proclaiming, "Look what Suri left behind. I guess that $5 million I spent on building you a gym in the guest house would have done more good in my sunglasses and leather-jacket budget."

Did we mention Katie Holmes nudity? See it at MrSkin.com.

Or check out Tom at MaleStars.com.