Paris might be busy using Britney Spears as a hotness inflator, but it seems that she still has enough time to tilt her magnifying glass of evil towards the hapless ant that is Lindsay Lohan, cackling as she sizzles under the sun's death ray. Apparently, Paris must have really enjoyed the taste of blood she got from her alleged Shanna Moakler fisticuffs, and has gotten a little punchy with our poor, beleaguered Firecrotch.

What do you get when you take teenagers out of school and give them millions and millions of dollars? Uh, rich teenagers! Rich teenagers with a lot of time on their hands and a penchant for hurling vaginal insults at one another. Hot on the heels of Lindsay's hit movie Paris Hilton is a Cunt comes the breathlessly anticipated sequel Paris Hit Me, viewable at X17online.com. In it, Lindsay approachs a roving band of Pavarottis and breathlessly states,

“This is a video that Paris Hilton . . . and I’m saying this on tape, she hit me for no reason, apparently, at my friend’s house. I didn’t know she would be there and she hit me with a drink and poured it all over me. It hurts and it’s not OK . . . I’m sorry for everyone who thinks I’m crazy but I’m just trying to act.”

Yeah, you're just trying to act like a damn philistine! Also, nice touch with the "it's not OK." When admonishing people for suckerpunching you at a party, it's always nice to utilize language kindergarten teachers use with their students. Though we are talking about Paris Hilton, after all--most likely ordering her to draw a circle on the blackboard then put her nose in it is more effective a message than an adult discussion.

UPDATE: Now X17 has a new picture of Paris, Lohan, and Britney, all smiles and hand-holding, enjoying some quality time in the back of a car. They're punching, they're throwing drinks, they're insulting, no, wait, they're the most intimate of chums! SHIT OR GET OFF THE POT, ladies.

Lindsay! Lookin' goooood at MrSkin.com.

Let Paris hit cha while you're there.