There have been so many new developments in the Anna Nicole Smith babydaddy drama in the last 48 hours that we don't even know where to begin. At this point, the only way to get to the bottom of this is to round up ANS, Howard K. Stern, Larry Birkhead, baby Dannilynn, and Richard Dean Anderson, put them on Maury, and do a paternity test and a drug test. Why Richard Dean Anderson, you ask? Eye candy, my friend. Eye candy.

Without further ado, a brief wrap-up of the Anna Nicole goings-on of the past two days:

• Anna's erstwhile paparazzo lover, Larry Birkhead, is filing a paternity suit against the Trimspa-snarfer, alleging that he is the baby's biological father, telling MSNBC, "There is absolutely no way that [Stern] is the father of the child. He knows it, I know it and that's all there is to it. He challenged me on live television to get an attorney, so I have taken him up on his offer."
• Birkhead wants full custody of the child.
• Birkhead claims that Anna Nicole has been addicted to methadone--the heroin withdrawal drug that was responsible for the death of her son Daniel--for three years, and that Howard K. Stern has been "facilitating" her addicition.
• Birkhead also claims that there was a previous pregnancy, and that Anna miscarried his child in February 2005.
• Anna has sold the photos of her non-legally-binding "commitment ceremony" to Stern to People magazine for a cool million.
• The court papers state that Birkhead alleges, "Anna Nicole previously tried to get another man to claim the baby was his, but that that plan fell through because that mystery man had already had a vasectomy."
• The documents seek to force Smith "to submit to paternity testing immediately, the child returned to the State of California and that drug testing be conducted on mother and child."

People, people, people. With all the accusations and fingerpointing and tears and cups of methadone and drunken, bikini-clad commitment ceremonies, it appears that everyone's lost sight of what's really important here. And that's the fact that Anna Nicole's new movie Illegal Aliens, in which she stars alongside wrestling sensation Chyna, has not gotten a proper theater release. And we can all agree that that's the real tragedy.

Chill out with some ANS ASS at MrSkin.com.