We . . . just . . . ugh. Guh. Duh? . . . guh. We don't know. Words fail. The only thing we can think, the one sentence forming in the recesses of our feeble minds and repeating, over and over, like a mantra, is "put it away, Lohan. Put it away, Lohan." Seriously, Lohan. Please. Put it away.


After the cut, Lindsay honors the memory of those lost in 9/11 . . . with her peebug!

OK. So.






The girl shops all the time. ALL THE TIME!


So why the hell doesn't she take some of those clothes she's constantly purchasing, and wear them over her bald sex organs? Why? Why? Why?


And why is her face orange while her body is fish-belly white? And why is she coyly covering her mouth while leaving her (fire?)crotch flapping in the breeze?


So many questions. You leave us with so many questions, Lohan. And very little in the way of answers. Or panties.

Lindsay's lookin' lusty at MrSkin.com.