Pictures of lush-maned moppet Suri Cruise came along yesterday and clapped a chubby little baby hand over our naysaying mouths. Not to be outdone by her eye-singeing cuteness, Britney Spears is reportedly set to deliver Federspawn #2 today via C-section. Though, unlike Suri, this baby will not score the cover of Vanity Fair. Weekly World News, American Tractor Guide, or Wigger Weekly? Maybe.

Some reports have the baby scheduled to be chopped out of Britney today, others have it set for the same birthday as Sean Preston: September 14th. But we can all agree on one thing: the kid is completely screwed. Not only is she (it's widely rumored to be a girl) comprised of half of Kevin Federline's DNA, her name is going to be Jailynn. The New York Daily News states that

"The planned C-section will deliver a daughter whom Britney will name Jailynn in honor of her parents, Jamie and Lynn, and Brit's little sister, Jamie Lynn."

Yes, but it's also the transposed phrase "in jail", which is most likely where the poor dear will end up in nineteen years, after her dad talks her into a lucrative meth lab partnership.

Once upon a time, Britney was unsullied by K-Fed. Behold the hotness at MrSkin.com.