August 11, 2006 at 10:50AM

Scarlett and Josh One Step Closer to Creating Stunning Mate for Shiloh

Scarlett Johansson and her charmingly squinty man-candy Josh Hartnett are not only handsomer than most Hollywood couples, they're smarter, too. Eschewing the usual Tinseltown courting timeline--meet on movie set, drop respective mates, deny romance while making out in nightclubs, get engaged after three months, marry, fight, divorce after 11 more months--they're taking it slow. After a year or so of dating, they're moving in together. And getting their bedroom soundproofed. While it's not on the same level as, say, Paris Hilton's stripper pole in the kitchen or Pam Anderson installing a trapeze in the bedroom she shared with Tommy Lee, it's still impressive. As long as it's not to mask the sounds of Josh weeping with inadequacy after being faced with the two most celebrated bosoms in recent history.

We had reported almost a year ago that Scartnett moved in together. We were wrong. We regret this error, but now we can tell you with certainty that the pair is maybe possibly moving in together but don't quote us please thanks. A "real estate insider" leaked the news that the couple has been searcing for a home in New York's TriBeCa, and they were seen lunching with Scarlett's dad and poring over floor plans. Oh, but there's a sexy twist! Said insider told Life & Style that the couple had a special request:

They asked that we change the design to include extra insulation between the bedrooms of the penthouse and the unit next door.
If it wasn't enough that Scarlett Johansson and Josh Hartnett are pretty much the two most facially gifted people in the entire country, the clash of their sublime genitalia is such that the pair are sent into paroxyms of ear-splitting squeals of ectasy. The joining of two celebrities' giblets hasn't sounded this arousingly cacophonous since the braying, roaring, Jolie-Pitt animalistic jungle sex of yore.

ScarJo is a sex bomb at MrSkin.com.