Ashlee Simpson is in talks to star as Roxie Hart in the Broadway production of the musical Chicago. Audiences across the land will pay to see Ashlee glide onto the stage, resplendent in period-appropraite pin curls and glittery showgirl costume. As the strains of her first song pour from the orchestra pit, Ashlee will open her mouth and start miming the words to "La La". Realizing her folly, she will do an improvised and highly comical jig before making her hasty exit.

Ashlee has allegedly been offered the role made famous, movie-style, by Renée Zellweger. The show opens in October, and Ashlee has kindly shoved aside her busy schedule of elective cosmetic surgery and shopping to take the role. She has the choice of joining the cast of either the London or New York productions, and a source tipped off US Weekly and said that she'll most likely choose London. Hilariously, according to IMDB.com:

Although Simpson has little experience in musical theatre, she has been a back-up dancer on her sister Jessica's tour and had a role on US family drama 7th Heaven.

Well! It seems that all it takes to make it in the cutthroat world of the top tier of musical theater is doing the Roger Rabbit behind a pop singer at the Office Max Amphitheater and emoting on a Christian-tinged family drama on the WB. Kevin Federline is halfway to Broadway, then.

Ashlee isn't at MrSkin.com, so console yourself with her sister, instead.