Someone please pass us some Tupperware--we need to catch this blood that's pouring from our weeping hearts. Christina Ricci, dissatisfied with her post-Casper/Gallo career, is blaming her lack of plummy, blockbusting roles not on her miserable wooden acting, but on her shortness. Ricci, this is Hollywood. If you weren't born with it, you buy it. Ashlee got a new nose, Tara got new yams, Courtney Love got new everythings. What we're saying is that if you want to make it in this dirty rotten town, you'll suck it up and get metal rods surgically implanted in your limbs like a real man would. You gotta want it.

According to IMDb.com, Christina says that she's never considered for really meaty roles in huge movies because of her Tom Cruise-like lack of height, and because of this detriment, she'll never be on the A-list:

"I don't think that's ever going to happen for me. I'm five-one first thing in the morning, and I tend to look really small on camera. I can probably go as far as Holly Hunter went, then I think that's going to be it. I have a feeling I am way too small."

Let's all heave a collective, world-weary sigh for poor Christina, who, saddled with a stunted stature, has to give up her dreams of lofty, Nicole Kidman heights and resign herself to have a career that emulates lowly worm Holly Hunter. Who has been nominated for an Oscar four times, winning once.

Tiny Christina shows her Ricci's pieces at MrSkin.com.