We feel kind of bad for the Jackass guys. Sure, they have another movie coming out and Johnny Knoxville seems to be doing pretty well for himself, but the lesser Jackasses seem to have fallen on hard times. Bam Margera's uncle was just arrested for being a kid-toucher, Steve-O has a heart condition and possibly placed his pork sword inside of Nicole Richie, and now, Chris Pontius has been relegated to writing and recording a novelty song about last year's rumor involving Bam boffing Jessica Simpson. Which comes hot on the heels of Brandon "Fat Elvis" Davis and Scott Storch recording a "Firecrotch" diss song. And you can't fall much lower than being likened to Brandon Davis and Scott Storch. Unless you were to force a kindergarten class to watch you set fire to a litter of newborn bunnies, maybe.

Celebrity diss songs seem to be the new skinny jean, which is fine by us. It's nice to see the kids pouring themselves into creative outlets for their ire instead of simply doing lines off the toilet seats at Hyde and then hacking each other's Sidekicks. We only hope the songs don't escalate to Biggie vs. Tupac proportions. Page Six brings us the tale of two Jackasses . . . and one Jessica:

"[Chris] Pontius has penned and recorded a crude song about how fellow Jackass Bam Margera supposedly had sex with the busty blond singer - describing a kinky form of intercourse that can't be printed in a family newspaper... Pontius did not return our call, but Simpson's flack, Rob Shuter, dismissed the sleazy song's trash talk, telling Page Six: "There's no truth to it. Bam has been using Jessica's name to get himself attention for a long time."

We had to take a quantum leap back to June of last year to get a refresher on the Bam-Jessica tale: Bam's ex appeared on a radio show and intimated that the pair had sexual intercourse. However, it was Knoxville who was rumored (via an unsubstantiated blind item, but still!) to have tossed Jess's proverbial salad. So what's the "kinky form of intercourse"? We can only assume that it's something involving the anus, seeing as how Jessica's been dodging buttsex rumors for a year now, and also, "Jackass" has the word "ass" in it. And hey, so does the word "assume"! Welp, that pretty much seals the deal, then.

Gaze upon Jessica in little clothing, only at MrSkin.com.