For a while all the news involving Lindsay Lohan centered around bitchy catfights, her vagina's revolving-door policy, and the sundry men making use of that policy. Frankly we got a little sick of it. She's fighting, she's fucking, she's fighting, she's fucking. One can only take so much. Thankfully the past week has brought us Lindsay in bikini after bikini (featuring her newly regrown rack), smoking up at Disneyland, and giving fake blowjobs on camera. We would prefer real blowjobs in our living room but, hey, we're not picky.

First thing, Lindsay apparently has a new boyfriend. But he is not really famous and his name sounds nothing like Stamos Nachos, so we're not really interested. But his name is Harry Morton, he's apparently the heir to the Hard Rock Cafe fortune or some such pile of cash, and he tagged along to Lindsay's twentieth birthday party at Disneyland last Saturday. Now, we're not hardcore Disneyphiles or anything--we only break out the Mickey ears for very special occasions, like sex with our Minnie Mouse blow-up doll--so we don't keep up with miceage.com, but they claim that Lindsay and her friends partook of such astonishing behavior as marijuana smoking (!) and underage drinking (!!) and generally being total a-holes (!!!). They report:

[T]here was a definite whiff in the air as the increasingly rowdy group visibly stumbled into the loading area of each ride.

Between the obvious smell, rude behavior and the snotty attitude the entire party displayed, there were very few Lindsay Lohan fans working at Disneyland by the end of that night. At 1:30am, with Disneyland completely deserted, the birthday party was then loaded onto the Sailing Ship Columbia. As the ship cruised around a darkened Rivers of America with Mickey Mouse on board and catered desert [sic] being served by costumed pirates, the party took its most alarming turn as some party guests used the darkened ship to engage in very inappropriate behavior for the happiest place on earth.

What, pray tell, could that inappropriate behavior have been? Was it necking? We bet it was necking. And cursing. There was probably some cursing. And taking the Lord's name in vain. They should all be ashamed of themselves. Surely there was no fellatio involved, as Lindsay was saving that for the cameras.

But to us the best part of Lindsay's Disneyland debauchery is the response of her very busy PR lady, Leslie Sloane Zelnick, who told Lloyd Grove:

Lindsay was very happy that Disney let her have her birthday there. She had the best time, especially because she got to ride the new "Pirates of the Caribbean" ride. … The rest of the story was complete bulls—. I just spoke with her on set, she was just like, "What?!"

And then Leslie was like, "Shyaw, I know, right?" and then Lindsay was all, "What the fuck?" and Leslie was like, "I can't believe they said that about you, that is SO MEAN," and Lindsay was like, "They need to smoke some doob and just chill out," and then they both dissolved into giggles. But not from weed. Cause Lindsay would never do that. Cause it gives you the munchies and she'd eat, like, a whole sandwich or something, and do you know how much coke she would have to do to lose those calories? It would be a super lot.

You want Lindsay cleavage? MrSkin.com's got Lindsay cleavage.