There may be some truth to Eva Longoria's admission that her man-candy, San Antonio Spur Tony Parker, is woefully inexperienced when it comes to romantic/erotic matters, as he became wildly jealous when his girlfriend hopped into the ocean and began cuddling with dolphins. You may think this sounds like the action of a desperate, insecure man; we think it's the action of a smart man. If Jessica Alba has taught us anything, it's that dolphins are poonthirsty perverts by nature and will stop at nothing to grab a heavenly piece of woman-cake.

Eva and Tony were recently vacationing in Mexico (wait--weren't they busy crashing Nicole Kidman's honeymoon in Tahiti just the other week?) when Eva hopped into the water to fulfill every teenage girl's dream of swimming with dolphins. She appeared to be having such a blast with the creatures that Tony hopped in to get a piece of the action. The (n)ever-reliable News of the World said that

I think her boyfriend got jealous with the dolphin so he jumped in to get a kiss off Eva.

And an onlooker reported,

She loved the dolphin. She was shrieking at first when she touched it but within minutes she was laughing.

Ah, the mark of a dolphin virgin. At first, the girls always shriek when faced with their slick, hard, ever-probing bottlenoses, then they give in to the incessant, scary-yet-oddly-stimulating blunt thrusting.

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