In this post, you will listen to Teri Hatcher talk about how she gets her boobs looking so highly flavorsome and how you--yes, you!--can also have sightly cleavage. Teri's breasts are pleasant and all, but when is she going to start talking about the positive characteristics of her hairy snatcher? And that, friends, is what we in the business call a "rhyme". Learn from the masters.

Hey, everybody! Teri needs some attention! So she talked at great length about her breasts in their younger days to You magazine:

I think they should have been bronzed at some point because there was so much hysteria surrounding them. I suppose you could have worse compliments.

Nice as they were then, she spilled the beans on how to create the illusion of perfect beans when one is slightly longer in the tooth:

Any model or Hollywood actress who wears fancy designer ball gowns knows how to expertly manipulate gaffer tape to mush, lift and hold your breasts like a bra. It's a perfect temporary boob job. When you wear those complicated, low-cut dresses, and you're 40, that's how you can achieve perfect cleavage.

She left out the part where the perfect cleavage attracts a dashing man and she invites him back to her place for a nightcap and puts on some nice, unobtrusive smooth jazz and kicks off her Jimmy Choos and they sink into the couch, laughing, then he gently gives her a soft kiss and slowly, slowly slips down her Carolina Herrera gown and out pops a pair of weathered, leathered yambags laden with stretch marks and criss-crossed with double-sided cellophane and silver duct tape, which he will have to remove with an X-acto knife and a half pint of Goo Gone if he wants to free his mammular prize.

See them jugs for yourself! Teri is naked at MrSkin.com.