Brandon "Coke Bloat" Davis has caved into pressure and issued a formal apology for the Lindsay Lohan Firecrotch incident using the questionable New York Post as his platform. Lindsay's russet-hued vagina had no comment.

Bleated the Bloatapotamus:

"My behaviour on May 16 was inexcusable. What started out as a joke got completely carried away and I am horrified at the words that came out of my mouth. I consider Lindsay a friend and I hope she accepts my sincere apology for my reprehensible actions last week."

Hooo-weee, we hear ya, buddy! Can't tell you how many times we've been in a similar position. You know, exiting the VIP area of an exclusive nightclub for spoiled celebutards at 3:30 in the morning with a cockeyed hotel heiress in tow, suddenly overtaken with the urge to, like, just crack a joke about the color of one of our peers' pubic hair but then something happens and our mouth just keeps moving on its own and our voicebox just keeps forming words and for FOUR AND A HALF MINUTES it just goes on and on and on and on about pussies and vaginas and the scent of loose stools and 7 foot long clitori and even though our brain is like, "NO NO NO! STOP! STOP, MOUTH!" the ramble goes on and and and . . . boy, do we ever feel bad!

More of Firecrotch (though not the actual crotch) at MrSkin.com.