• Jake Gyllenhaal has a new beard! And a new girlfriend. So that's . . . two . . . beards. Yeah.


• Ashlee Simpson and her freshly minted honker show some Ash-crack.


• And Jessica Simpson nearly put her dog through the scanner at an airport security checkpoint. In related news, she's still a big dummy.


• Lindsay Lohan still attempting to resurrect 1988 leggings. Next up, LiLo will singlehandedly bring back Fido Dido gear.


• See Kiefer. See Kiefer drink. See Kiefer drink and drop trou.


• Keith Richards may never perform again. Promise?