Yesterday, a herd of cows, a smattering of hogs, approximately 30 White Leghorn chickens, and 88 Blackheaded Somali sheep awoke from their slumber to find this terrifying crop circle in the middle of their farm:





Unfortunately, the livestock attempted to mate with the mysterious image and were run off the farm in emasculated shame after the crop circle told the media that "I'm the experienced one. I'm the teacher, especially about love. The cattle, pigs, poultry, and sheep? They've only been with one other person in their lives."

Haw haw, April Fool's. Actually, this is a kooky publicity stunt by the people at Maxim magazine. In honor of their 100th issue providing masturbatory material to fraternity bro-hams across the land, they constructed this 75 x 110 foot vinyl replica of its January 2005 cover in the desert outside Las Vegas. Cover star Eva Longoria took a quick breather from blabbing about her private life and private parts to release this statement:

"Leave it to Maxim to do something so creative and so wild to celebrate their 100th issue. I guess space is no longer the final frontier. I am flattered, to say the least, to be TV's Sexiest Earthling."

Ho ho! Leave it to Maxim! What will those zany editorial imps think of next?

The replica is reportedly so large that it can be photographed from space, and we can only assume the confusion aliens are feeling while looking upon it. On one hand, the image of Eva Longoria strapped into a skimpy bikini makes them want to reach a spindly fingered hand into their moonpants to stroke their cloacae. On the other hand, her head is covering the "X" in the magazine's title, so the word "MAIM" floating above her person is imploring them to destroy her.

More pics of Miz Eva are at MrSkin.com.