Tara Reid, finally realizing that her only hope for ever appearing on any screen large or small ever again consists of hosting an installment of Girls Gone Wild, has turned to diamond theft. Zale's countrywide are on high alert and have stocked their stores with cases of Captain Morgan's as a preventative measure.

We're not quite sure why Rose McGowan, whose biggest accomplishments include getting squashed by an automatic garage door and keeping a straight face while proclaiming her love for Marilyn Manson, was hosting a private Oscars luncheon, but she was, and for some other unforeseen reason she was giving away diamonds, so we guess chewing scenery for twelve-year-old girls week after week on Charmed really can get you somewhere. The luncheon included a gift bag for each guest containing a $1,000 diamond bracelet. An employee of Diamond Acquifer, who provided the bracelets, told Page Six:

"Tara and some friends came and swiped almost all of the gift bags. Gone! They took them all! Thieves!"

We think that this Diamond Acquifer employee is just looking at the situation in the wrong light. Those diamonds would mean very little to party guests who still the chance to land bit parts on WB sitcoms or in Hilary Duff movies. But to Tara Reid they mean another year of hitting strip clubs and downing vodka shots and hiring people to carry her home. Which in turn means another year with a box office free from drek like Alone in the Dark and My Boss's Daughter. Those there are miracle diamonds.

Since you won't be seeing her at your multiplex any time soon, check out vintage Tara Reid at MrSkin.com.