We understand that a lot of you would like to get into Jessica Simpson's pants. Would it blow your minds to find out that the one man who regularly did just that would cast aside said pants in favor of her shoes?

After naming his soon-to-be-ex wife as the sexiest woman he'd ever seen, boring nice guy Nick Lachey let it rip that he and J-Simp used to get all freaky up in the boudoir. "I haven't even realized my full dirty talk potential," he said in a keck-inducing interview. Furthermore, People.com spews:

Nick Lachey reveals in a new interview that he used to put on Jessica Simpson's shoes and walk around in them – "It was sort of a kinky thing we liked to get into," he tells Elle magazine.

Nice inclusion of the word "we", Nick. Makes it kinda look like you swanning around in your wife's gear like a latter-day Tallulah Bankhead was part of some sort of kinky sex play. See, here in the Midwest, we don't call that kind of thing "foreplay". We call it "crossdressing". And we don't cotton to it. Unless we ourselves are doing it. Then it's OK.

Jessica Simpson. Pictures. At MrSkin.com.