Prepare for the impending media assailment! People.com reports that Angelina Jolie has confirmed that she's really, honestly, truly, for reals carrying Brad Pitt's baby. After all that talk about needy children all around the globe desperate for caring families, she goes and makes one of her own. What a hypocrite.

Unless People are big fat disgusting liars, Angelina has vouched for all the preggo rumors--she and Brad have mingled their telegenic genes, presumeably through the magic of human sexual intercourse:

Angelina Jolie is expecting a baby this summer with Brad Pitt, PEOPLE has confirmed. "Yes, I'm pregnant," Jolie told a charity aid worker in Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic, Monday. The pregnancy has since been confirmed by representatives of both stars.

Poor little tiny baby. It has until its great unveiling this summer to enjoy life away from the public eye, but after it pops forth into this world, everyone will be watching it for signs of impending hotness. It will have an eating disorder at five, and Botox at twelve.

Although we're a bunch of Crabby Appletons over here and tend to never believe any sort of pregnancy rumors, we're glad that all those baggy caftans and large purses and grocery bags Ang has been using as fetus-shields weren't in vain. You can't Phylicia Rashad the American public forever, babe.



Angelina, large of bosom and empty of womb. Nude pics and clips at MrSkin.com.


And Daddy Brad looking far from bad at MaleStars.com.