Sharon Osbourne (OMG we totally remember her!) is reportedly getting her cans cut back down to C-size after recently getting gigantic breast implants, presumably so Ozzy could be able to locate them with his gnarled, dithering hands.

What a world we live in! What a world! Real live humans are like Baby Chrissy dolls with magically growing/shortening hair--they get adjustments to their person, they don't like 'em, they change it back. Sharon, who has admitted to having £300,000 worth of plastic surgery, got her 34C titties pumped up to a whopping 36DD six months ago. However, now that Sharon is suitably juggy, she wants her breasts of yore back again. Imagine that!

"I don't like them now, they're too big! I'm having them changed. Ozzy likes them, but they're too big. Honestly, they weigh a lot."

At least we think she's talking about her breasts. Those nutty Brits sure do have a funny way with language:


Of course Sharon Osbourne is not at MrSkin.com. Are you mental? But Monica Bellucci is, and she's got big ones.