• The unpleasant weave Tyra Banks sported on last season's Top Model has migrated to her lip. That's fierce!


• Joaquin Phoenix: method actor.


• When you litter, Patrick Swayze turns his weather-beaten, spiritual face to the skies and weeps a solitary tear.


• Paris Hilton gets her stoolbox hosed out.


• Oasis member Noel Gallagher calls Jack White "Zorro on doughnuts". And, well, uh, he's kinda got a point there.


• A stripper had drunken floor sex with David Arquette. Strippers have low standards.


• And Mariah Carey has an employee who helps her lift those pesky beverages to her parched lips. Don't snicker--the strawmaster probably makes more than you.