Brad and Angelina still refuse to come clean and admit that they are, indeed, sexy homewreckers, but they will admit to being sexy co-nurturers. On Friday, Brad officially filed papers to become little Maddox and Zahara's adoptive father. A petition was also filed to tack Brad's last name onto the kids' surnames, making them Maddox and Zahara Jolie-Pitt. Which loosely translates to "beautiful hole". Kind of fitting, when you think about it.

Now, we hate to be a bunch of Crabby Pattys, but what happens in a year or two when Angelina's voracious omnisexual appetite gets the better of her, and she finds herself playing the part of the meat in a Clive Owen-Drea De Matteo sandwich or something? It's one thing to be a typical Hollywood knucklehead and enter into a seven-month marriage, but to give your culturally prismatic adopted children a brand-new daddy only to yank him away when the tingly thrill of getting crammed by your Tinseltonian genetic match wears off is just plain mean.

And how very queer indeed that adoption papers were filed three days before Mr. & Mrs. Smith drops on DVD.

Oh, like you were sitting there thinking warm, optimistic, parental Christmas thoughts. Don't you EVEN look at us like that.

But who cares, when Angelina is totally naked at MrSkin.com?

And thrill to studly Brad at MaleStars.com.