Karma exists. If you don't believe us, then pull up a carpet square, tiny childen, because it's storytime! Today, we have a nice fable about the little redhaired girl who was so very mean that Fate made her pretty car go boom. Everyone, look at the nice pictures!

Last Saturday, former Fugee Wyclef Jean hosted a Hurricane Katrina benefit in suburban Chicago. Supposedly co-hosting was our favorite Mean Girl Lindsay Lohan, who reportedly missed upwards of three planes and showed up several hours late. Our glitzy, glamorous anonymous source was in attendance and tells us that upon her arrival, the Hohan hid on a couch with her friends and her Blackberry and refused to speak to reporters, fans, or the other celebrity hosts (Entourage's Jeremy Piven, Drew Barrymore, and her staggeringly charming and handsome boyfriend, Strokes drummer Fabrizio Moretti) claiming that she was sick. But the funny thing, see, is that she proceeded to drink and chain smoke for the duration of the evening. At one point, one of Lohan's henchwomen approached a guest and snatched away her camera, falsely accusing the guest of surreptiously snapping pictures of the now-boobless star. Piven took the stage and cracked to the crowd, "If you want pictures, Lindsay Lohan is here and she is very excited about taking pictures with you," which elicited gleeful props from Drew n' Fab. Afterwards, Wyclef Jean performed and jumped on the Lindsay-bashing train, freestyling, "Lindsay, you asked for the plane, I got you the plane, smile, Lindsay, smile," causing Lohan to exit in a huff.

Yesterday, Lohan got called out by the gods, getting into her third car accident in the past year. Driving like Zsa Zsa Gabor after a couple two tree morning highballs, Lindsay smashed her black Benz convertible into a red van on Robertson Ave. in Beverly Hills, sending the van's driver to the hospital. Reporter Victoria Recano told imdb.com that there was no apparant concrete cause of the crash: "There was no one following her. She was going pretty fast on Robertson." Lohan, who ran into an antiques store to hide after the accident, could face criminal charges. We all knew she was destined for a Dana Plato destiny, but we had no idea it'd be before she was old enough to vote. Enjoy the crash site pics here, and heed this story's simple moral: don't be a dick. Or don't blow rails and drive. Or don't become a child star. Gosh, this is a multifaceted story with countless morals. Ain't no fox and grapes style b-crap when we're talkin' 'bout the Lohan.

Lilo's fabled cans of yore: via MrSkin.com.