For those of you who were passed out in the throes of severe alcoholism yesterday (cheers!), Britney Spears squeezed out her puppy with a little help from Uncle Caesarean. And rest assured, pervos, she'll be back into form soon enough. The New York Daily News reports that Brit recently stated: "I'm gonna be a hot mom," and "hint[ed] she'll still wear halter tops and Daisy Dukes when she's pushing the tot's carriage." Yeeeah, that's "hot". About as hot as wearing a Wal-Mart bikini and pink foam rollers when you beat the kid with a carton of Basic Ultra Light 110s. OK, actually that does sound kinda hot.

The Antichrist blessed bundle of joy has arrived! According to Star (so, like, take this with a few overflowing tablespoons of salt), Brit popped out the 6 lb 11 3/4 oz, 19-inch long boy in L.A. at 12:57 PST yesterday. Although the kid's name hasn't officially been released, most papers are reporting that his name will be Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Scratch that, we mean Preston Michael Spears Federline. Brit was joined in her hospital room by unemployed husband Kevin and her mom Lynne. A source told Star, "Everybody was crying. Kevin, Britney, Britney's mom, they all broke into tears." Britney was most likely crying with joy, Britney's mom was probably crying because she knew that now Kev has even more of a claim to Britney's cash, and Kevin? Kevin was crying because he hates himself.

Britney in pre-infink form at MrSkin.com.