After Michael Jackson was, uh, aquitted on those pesky boy-touching charges, he scurried off to Bahrain, presumably to hide out and recover. Apparently, he's been doing more than that--he's been working out and butching up in a bid to revive his image. Sez author Michael C. Luckman: "Michael Jackson is headed to the stratosphere. Nothing can stop him now."


Nothing except the second coming of JTT. Which, like the Rapture, we've been waiting for for eons.

Looks like he took Britney's advice after all: according to Luckman (is he in Bahrain with Jacko? Is he a "trusted friend"? It is unclear), Mike is working hard on a new, macho macho man image after being approached by a Las Vegas hotel who offered him a long-term performing gig, a la Celine Dion and, uh, Don Ho. You may be asking yourself what, exactly, is MJ doing to get butch? Riding hogs, swilling Mickey's and chawing Skoal, getting nautical tattoos? No, no, no. He's reportedly been working out, wearing "shorter wigs", and using a lighter hand with the makeup. Because nothing says virility like a Caesar wig, shimmery fawn liner, and a nice rose-beige gloss.