We’ve set a good precedent when discussing Eva Longoria: talk about her hotness and her Angelina Jolie-rivaling love of sex. So we’re not about to stop now. We’re going to tell you that Eva thinks you should wax the hell out of your snatch, then we’re going to talk about her getting hit in the head with a pole. (Which admittedly has nothing to do with sex, but it sounds pretty damn dirty.)

While we personally don’t really get the whole Eva Longoria thing (she kind of looks like she should be playing Monique Noelle Brock Hampton #7 on One Life to Live), we understand that most men have a huge collective boner over her. And we’re guessing it has something to do with her proclivity for vibrators and the fact that she talks about them, like, twenty-two hours a day. We gotta admit, that’s hot. But talking about how a Brazilian wax means you’re open for business, that’s even hotter. Talking about her first waxing experience, Eva said, "I never waxed or really paid attention to that area. It opened the door to a whole new sexual side of me. Getting in touch with your inner sex goddess would begin with the Brazilian wax. I felt like Angelina Jolie after the Brazilian wax." (We think there’s some sort of new law stating that if you talk about sex or hotness in any form and don’t mention Angelina Jolie, you’re fined $500.) So listen up, Demi Moore. If you want little Ashton to stick around and not run off with one of Hugh Hefner’s girlfriends, you best be waxing that shit.

And as mentioned earlier, Eva got hit in the head with a pole. A big, fat falling pole. But, alas, it was just part of the Desperate Housewives set. She was rushed to the hospital but was not seriously injured. And because Eva’s ever-so-wise publicist knows that everyone reading about Eva’s injury will already be thinking about at least eight various things that could send them straight to hell, she issued a statement saying that Eva’s “got a hard head.” To which every male instantly replied, “I’ve got a hard head I’d like to give her.” Ah, men. So predictable.

You already know you're going to go look at some pics of Eva, so just do it already. At MrSkin.com.

And so we don't get fined $500, we'll throw in some Angelina too.