Usually we don’t really care which celebrities may or may not be crapping out little tykes (Demi Moore’s pregnant; no, she had a miscarriage; no, she’s still pregnant, she just has the gestation period of an elephant), but on a slow gossip day, a young movie star possibly being knocked up is our savior from having to write a story about Rob Schneider proving to his dining companions that he can cram an entire ham sandwich up his ass. (To our knowledge he didn’t actually do this, but if he did we would be sure to bring you up-to-the-minute coverage in between our bouts of vomiting.) So here it is, kids: Kirsten Dunst and Jake Gyllenhaal may be spawning.

So you’re a young Hollywood couple, the male half of which has been rumored to be hiding a bit of the ding-dong predilection, who have a couple of high-profile movies coming out. In this position some may jump on couches and make out in public until the herp gets you; others spark pregnancy rumors. According to In Touch Weekly, Kirsten and Jake were spotted at a Whole Foods in Hollywood shopping for prenatal vitamins. It is unclear whether they followed their shopping trip with a visit to the Scientology Center’s class on how to secure your film a first-place opening while having the brainpower of a rabid monkey. Now we’re not saying that this Kirsten/Jake baby talk is a sham, but it is better for publicity than breaking up and making up every other month, which seemed to be Jasten Dunhaal Kake (ah, screw it) Kirsten and Jake’s only form of paparazzi baiting to date. But you know what's even better for publicity? Sex tapes. Well choreographed and scripted sex tapes. Maybe Kirsten and Jake should look into that. There would be so many possibilities, what with Spider-Man outfits and Donnie Darko bunny suits.

Kirsten Dunst without the Bubble Boy's seed at MrSkin.com.