We haven’t quite finished our third cup of coffee yet, and people keep on asking us if we’ve got a case of the Mondays, which really pisses us off. But we probably do look a little sad and confused this morning, as we just learned that Madonna probably didn’t actually write her children’s books. Next thing you know somebody’s gonna tell us that she didn’t do her own Vogue-ing. That would be a travesty.

For those of you still wearing fingerless gloves and lace miniskirts, you may not know that today’s Madonna is a religious family woman and the author of a line of children’s books. She moons about her love for her family and her faith in Kabbalah while wearing demure Ann Taylor sweater sets. But apparently this lame personality didn’t come easily to Madge, and she needed a little Kabbalah-approved help. A source told The New York Post, "All of Madonna's books are written by the Kabbalah Center's official ghostwriter, Eitan Yardeni. Eitan also writes all of Rabbis Yehuda and Phillip Berg's books and the Kabbalah Books for the Centre. Last summer, he flew to London to help Madonna write the last book, but she didn't really do anything." So Madonna has a ghost writer. We’d rather she found someone to ghost act for her. That still wouldn’t have saved Swept Away though.

See Madonna's pre-family woman bod at MrSkin.com.