Hurry! Pack your bags, blindfold your children and tuck them under your arms and run for the fucking hills! Teri Hatcher's nipples will not be contained!!!!

Good thing Desperate Housewives garners a billion spacebucks from advertisers--they need every penny they can get to pay for the digital removal of star Teri Hatcher's scud-missile nipplets. "I like sheer bras that you can see my nipples through, but ABC had a problem with it. When you're shooting outside in the cold things arise under your T-shirt," says T (what things? Are they bigger than a breadbox?). "I tried to wear thicker T-shirts and I even wore those heating pads you use for skiing. I thought the problem had been solved but apparently they just spent thousands of dollars digitally removing my nipples from the show." So she attempted to solve the problem of visible party hats with every conceivable prop EXCEPT a thicker bra. You'd think the brass at ABC could've put their heads together and figured this one out, but then again, these are the people who brought us Max Headroom, so.

The nipples in question. Check 'em out at MrSkin.com.