(Is it wrong that we're kind of bummed out he didn't grab a tit? We're finding it next to impossible to come up with any Slater butt puns, and "Gleaming the Boob" has such a nice ring to it.)

At any rate: Christian Slater picked the wrong seat to snatch when he decided to get all handsy-like on Tuesday morning. In a startling turn of events, the grabbee was less than amused to find herself on the receiving end of a random cheek squeeze even though her assailant was the star of Untamed Heart. However, weep not for Slater--he's got strippers on his side!

The woman attached to the ass is a 52-year-old drug counselor who's taking a hard line against Mr. Hard Rain, refusing to drop the charges because Slater didn't even apologize: "He didn't even say sorry. Instead, he said 'Drop it'. But nobody has the right to do this. That's why I'm pursuing it." Slater was taken into custody on May 31rst and charged with two counts of sexual misconduct before he was released.

In a rather Tommy Lee turn of events, a passel of Scores strippers have jumped to Slater's defense, saying that since he has heretofore been able to restrain himself from reaching out and touching their wares, he simply must be innocent! Page Six got the lowdown: "It's difficult for some men to remain calm when I take off my gown and reveal my 36Ds, but Christian always remains cool--he has never attempted to touch me inappropriately," said Scores entertainer Logan. And dancer Jade said, "Even when I am dancing up close and personal, Christian just looks and tells me that I look great. I believe he is innocent." Well, we're convinced. LET OUR CHRISTIAN GO!