Yeah, so Kate Bosworth and Orlando Bloom are back together again. We would have gotten this information to you sooner, but forgive us if we were unable to muster anything remotely resembling enthusiasm towards an elfin eunuch and a B-list bobblehead joining giblets again. However, after viewing the following picture, we decided that we do care, after all. In fact, we're making it our personal mission to Feed Kate Bosworth. We've assembled a supergroup of some of our finest musicians (Kix! Ugly Kid Joe! And Frank Stallone!) to put out a beautiful song called "The Wind Whispers 'Kate' (Across Her Clavicles)". All proceeds go towards buying Kate a big fat gift certificate to Taco Bell!

"Hi, America. I'm Kate Bosworth. You may remember me from such films as Blue Crush and The Rules of Attraction. In the former, I was a hot blonde with a winning smile and a killer, fit body. But no more!"

"See, my agent told me that there is nothing that casting directors like better than being able to see an actress's musculoskeletal system through her skin. And boy, were they ever right! Since I lost a third of my body weight, the roles have been pouring in. AND I got Legolas to come crawling back! Pretty sweet, eh? Oh, and that restaurant bill that's on my table? Don't worry--it's a check for coffee, a lemon wedge, and some iceberg lettuce."

Save Kate, people. Reach into your heart. Save Kate.