There's been a lot of talk lately about Britney Spears's interview in the latest issue of Allure magazine, what with her being topless on the cover and admitting that "being married sucks," but it seems that until yesterday everyone had ignored the sage advice that Britney provided within the interview. Advice for Michael Jackson. We know that Michael is in a bad way right now, but we don't think that even an alleged mini wee-wee toucher would take advice from Mrs. Kevin Federline.

What exactly were Britney's words of wisdom for Jacko? "If he did those things, I feel sorry for him. I feel like he probably feels alone, and he needs some help. He needs someone to be like, 'OK, let's buck you up, let's give you a moustache, let's rough you up, let's go to a bar, let's get drunk and be a man.' And if he didn't do those things, I feel sorry for him. Either way, he needs to get in a fight." Perhaps Michael has already taken the Britster's advice and his recent "back problems" were due to excessive boozing and fisticuffs. Britney's next move will be to help Michael jump bail, take him to the Harley store and dress him in head-to-toe leather, and take him on an Easy Rider-style road trip. That will definitely turn him into a man and prepare him for the totally non-gay activities that take place in prison.